Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are closer than others. Mine is really different. As most of you know who will read this, I went through a lot of hell in the past year and a half. I now realize tge people who I thought I really trusted were just using me and the people who I thought were complete morons, turned out to be incredibly wonderful.
Last year when hell froze over, I went running right to my aunt. I never got to know her really well until then. She told me basically everything. Me, being extremely upset at my dad, believed everything she had to say. Suddenly, I was her favorite. She bought my mom and I a bunch of stuff and invited us over for every holiday and birthday. She'd call me constantly and I felt like I could talk to her about everything. She helped us move when we moved in April, which was huge because otherwise it would have only been my mom and I. Instead, the whole family helped us. Suddenly over the summer, things began to change. We drifted apart after she had a run in with her grandparent in-laws. It was over something stupid, but after that, everyone convinced me that she was no good and I should stay away from her. I didn't listen. She was one of the only people that I felt comfortable talking to at the time.
We planned a family vacation to Chicoteague at the beginning of August, though mom and I ended up staying home. Mom just point blank didn't want to go and I didn't want to go if she wasn't going.
A little bit after this, mom and I got into a huge fight. She came home from her boyfriends, Ronnie, the one night and told me, "We're going to North Carolina for Thanksgiving." I straight out told her no. I had already made plans to go to Anita's and I would have felt so awkward going to Ronnie's family for Thanksgiving. That's when World War Four broke loose. I was so frustrated with her that night that I was so tempted to leave the house. I think the only reason I didn't was because she threatened to call the police on me. Anyway, I sat outside next to my car for about an hour that night crying. Usually when I would get this upset at my mom, I would call my dad. I couldn't even do that.
Over the next few months, my mom kept encouraging me to go talk to my dad. I started off by meeting him for gas at Wawa, though my mom would come with me every time. I refused to go by myself. Even though I had no reason to be, I was nervous every time.
The first time I went to see him alone was the first Wednesday in November. Things with my mom got worse and I seriously needed to talk to my dad about everything. I don't think he had any idea about half the stuff going in. I just told my mom that it would have been easier for me to get it right after school instead of going home first. Little did she know that I just really needed to talk to him.
The whole drive to Wawa I was nervous. Though once I talked to him, I felt so much better. We talked for about an hour and it made me realize that it wasn't just me, my dad thought the same way I did about some of the things about my mom.
Over the next couple of weeks, I kept meeting him for gas by myself. I began to get more comfortable every time I saw him. He promised me I would meet Susan, which will happen sometime in January. That made me realize that things really have changed.
The night before Thanksgiving I met dad for coffee and we talked for about two hours. We talked about so much. He desperately wanted me to stop over at Hanna's sometime on Thanksgiving day. I would have felt incredibly awkward though. So Thanksgiving day I just went to my Aunt Anita's. I told everyone what has been going on, and I felt so left out. Mom was down in North Carolina with Ronnie and she didn't even call me on Thanksgiving Day.
Black Friday morning I did some shopping then met dad for coffee. Well, a meeting for coffee turned into running some errands with him. Once again, we just talked. Earlier on in the week, we had planned to go out to dinner Saturday night. Just him and I. I wasn't sure if I was ready to meet Hanna just yet. Dad talked so much about her though and she seemed so sweet. I decided that I wanted her to come along for dinner the following night. All day Saturday I wasn't nervous, I was actually really looking forward to it. About an hour prior to when we were supposed to meet, I got insanely nervous. When I was sitting in the parking lot, I was beyond nervous. I wasn't sure how dinner would go over. I only met this lady once before, and it was a year and a half ago. I didn't even remember what she looked like. We met at my car, and I honestly wasn't expecting a hug right away. Throughout the night, I began to realize that she was incredibly sweet. I felt so bad about everything that had happened previously. Within the next few weeks, we all became closer. I started going over to Hanna's house almost every night to spend time with her and dad. I feel like I can tell her and my dad almost anything now. This is all something that I never thought would happen, but I am so glad it did.
So here it is, Christmas night at 10:45. I'm currently sitting in the living room at Hanna's house on the computer. She's upstairs asleep and my dad is laying on the couch "resting his eyes". No, not really, he's asleep. I am finally starting to feel at home here. I got a bunch of stuff for Christmas today. Though I didn't get everything I wanted, it doesn't matter. I got to spend the morning with my mom, which I know she loved, and the afternoon with two great people, whom a year ago, I never would have imagined I'd be spending time with. I haven't been happy for the past year, something always felt like it was missing. Though within the past month, I feel like that piece is filled. To this day, I look back at the past year and even though none of it was my fault, I feel like it was. I feel terrible for not giving my dad and Hanna a chance earlier. I feel bad for treating her like total crap. I feel overwhelmingly terrible for what I said about her on Twitter last year. Every time I think about it I just want to repeatedly slap myself. Though, maybe if I did give them a chance earlier on, things might have worked out differently. I'm perfectly happy right now with how things are going and couldn't imagine them any better.
*Just for the fact, everything except this last paragraph was typed on my phone. Gotta love Android apps :) I know it's been a year since I wrote on this blog (I have another blog on Xanga, but haven't written on there in awhile either). I really enjoy writing blogs so I want to write them more often. Maybe not this long though :)
Last year when hell froze over, I went running right to my aunt. I never got to know her really well until then. She told me basically everything. Me, being extremely upset at my dad, believed everything she had to say. Suddenly, I was her favorite. She bought my mom and I a bunch of stuff and invited us over for every holiday and birthday. She'd call me constantly and I felt like I could talk to her about everything. She helped us move when we moved in April, which was huge because otherwise it would have only been my mom and I. Instead, the whole family helped us. Suddenly over the summer, things began to change. We drifted apart after she had a run in with her grandparent in-laws. It was over something stupid, but after that, everyone convinced me that she was no good and I should stay away from her. I didn't listen. She was one of the only people that I felt comfortable talking to at the time.
We planned a family vacation to Chicoteague at the beginning of August, though mom and I ended up staying home. Mom just point blank didn't want to go and I didn't want to go if she wasn't going.
A little bit after this, mom and I got into a huge fight. She came home from her boyfriends, Ronnie, the one night and told me, "We're going to North Carolina for Thanksgiving." I straight out told her no. I had already made plans to go to Anita's and I would have felt so awkward going to Ronnie's family for Thanksgiving. That's when World War Four broke loose. I was so frustrated with her that night that I was so tempted to leave the house. I think the only reason I didn't was because she threatened to call the police on me. Anyway, I sat outside next to my car for about an hour that night crying. Usually when I would get this upset at my mom, I would call my dad. I couldn't even do that.
Over the next few months, my mom kept encouraging me to go talk to my dad. I started off by meeting him for gas at Wawa, though my mom would come with me every time. I refused to go by myself. Even though I had no reason to be, I was nervous every time.
The first time I went to see him alone was the first Wednesday in November. Things with my mom got worse and I seriously needed to talk to my dad about everything. I don't think he had any idea about half the stuff going in. I just told my mom that it would have been easier for me to get it right after school instead of going home first. Little did she know that I just really needed to talk to him.
The whole drive to Wawa I was nervous. Though once I talked to him, I felt so much better. We talked for about an hour and it made me realize that it wasn't just me, my dad thought the same way I did about some of the things about my mom.
Over the next couple of weeks, I kept meeting him for gas by myself. I began to get more comfortable every time I saw him. He promised me I would meet Susan, which will happen sometime in January. That made me realize that things really have changed.
The night before Thanksgiving I met dad for coffee and we talked for about two hours. We talked about so much. He desperately wanted me to stop over at Hanna's sometime on Thanksgiving day. I would have felt incredibly awkward though. So Thanksgiving day I just went to my Aunt Anita's. I told everyone what has been going on, and I felt so left out. Mom was down in North Carolina with Ronnie and she didn't even call me on Thanksgiving Day.
Black Friday morning I did some shopping then met dad for coffee. Well, a meeting for coffee turned into running some errands with him. Once again, we just talked. Earlier on in the week, we had planned to go out to dinner Saturday night. Just him and I. I wasn't sure if I was ready to meet Hanna just yet. Dad talked so much about her though and she seemed so sweet. I decided that I wanted her to come along for dinner the following night. All day Saturday I wasn't nervous, I was actually really looking forward to it. About an hour prior to when we were supposed to meet, I got insanely nervous. When I was sitting in the parking lot, I was beyond nervous. I wasn't sure how dinner would go over. I only met this lady once before, and it was a year and a half ago. I didn't even remember what she looked like. We met at my car, and I honestly wasn't expecting a hug right away. Throughout the night, I began to realize that she was incredibly sweet. I felt so bad about everything that had happened previously. Within the next few weeks, we all became closer. I started going over to Hanna's house almost every night to spend time with her and dad. I feel like I can tell her and my dad almost anything now. This is all something that I never thought would happen, but I am so glad it did.
So here it is, Christmas night at 10:45. I'm currently sitting in the living room at Hanna's house on the computer. She's upstairs asleep and my dad is laying on the couch "resting his eyes". No, not really, he's asleep. I am finally starting to feel at home here. I got a bunch of stuff for Christmas today. Though I didn't get everything I wanted, it doesn't matter. I got to spend the morning with my mom, which I know she loved, and the afternoon with two great people, whom a year ago, I never would have imagined I'd be spending time with. I haven't been happy for the past year, something always felt like it was missing. Though within the past month, I feel like that piece is filled. To this day, I look back at the past year and even though none of it was my fault, I feel like it was. I feel terrible for not giving my dad and Hanna a chance earlier. I feel bad for treating her like total crap. I feel overwhelmingly terrible for what I said about her on Twitter last year. Every time I think about it I just want to repeatedly slap myself. Though, maybe if I did give them a chance earlier on, things might have worked out differently. I'm perfectly happy right now with how things are going and couldn't imagine them any better.
*Just for the fact, everything except this last paragraph was typed on my phone. Gotta love Android apps :) I know it's been a year since I wrote on this blog (I have another blog on Xanga, but haven't written on there in awhile either). I really enjoy writing blogs so I want to write them more often. Maybe not this long though :)
